Me Versus Adderall: Adderall Wins…

Over the past five years, I’ve taken medication for ADHD. And after years of taking stimulants like Adderall and Ritalin, the long-term effects finally outweighed the benefits…

Even though the medication’s legally prescribed, Adderall’s a stimulant like speed and methamphetamines… the same applies to Ritalin and both can be addictive.

In my overall experience, Adderall at first was like a charismatic dinner guest… one who makes great first impressions, makes a lot of fast friends, and makes a really mediocre party, really, really fun. Ten or twelve drinks later though, the guest becomes belligerent; they make a big scene, they make an even bigger mess, and make the biggest line of bullshit excuses in the world… and after throwing up, they never even clean the carpet.

Adderall for me was like the charismatic guest turning out to be an asshole… first they seemed cool, then they made a big mess.

Adderall was also like the shitty friend from junior high that stole your food at lunch-time, never had your back, and called you really shitty names like “Nicholas Dick-less”… for some dumb reason though you called him every day as if the shittier he was the more you tried to be his friend…

It’s almost like the shitty-friend attitude’s addictive… it grows and grows, and grows and grows, and years down the road you think: “Jesus Christ!… what a shitty-ass friend!… why’d I ever hangout with such a shitty-ass friend!?”

No one really knows… but Adderall was kind of like the shitty-ass friend-- contagious, addictive, and basically regrettable. With every passing month the pills were less and less effective, and more and more destructive… like 3.2 beer inside a heavy alcoholic, eventually the Adderall hardly did a thing.

With stimulants like Adderall, your mind becomes focused, but with no real discernment… positive or negative, relevant or otherwise, your thoughts are all magnified regardless of significance… the one thing Adderall always made me focus on, consistently and thoroughly, every single time though, was getting more Adderall!

Adderall which lead to more Adderall which lead to more Adderall which lead to more Adderall and they didn’t care-- you could always get pills a full week early! And not just once a year, not just twice year, but every single time! Every 24 days!… some were on meds before they hit age five!… and not a single patient was ever really fine!… either they were younger and they never had a choice, or just like me… just building up tolerance, eventually dependency, and now without a pill it’s like I can’t feel feelings… now without a pill I spend 12 hours sleeping almost every single night, 2 hours sleeping almost every single day, and 10 hours faking!… faking I’m alive when I’m dead inside, regretting every time I took that god-damn curse, and longing for the day I just feel normal… not even wonderful, not even great, but simply just normal… simply just adequate… simply alright…

So please… don’t take a drug just because they say you’re different-- our differences are keeping us halfway original and don’t put your little ones on Adderall or Ritalin-- they’ll never build character…

Be an individual! Relying on a pill’s not a road to independence… take it from experience… 22 years I lived life without a crutch… and then I took Adderall and everything changed…

So do yourself a favor… work with what you got, and try to build with what your given. I promise in the end you’ll be a whole lot happier… sincerely… just don’t make the same dumb mistake I did. - H.